legless123 ([info]legless123) wrote,
@ 2009-04-16 00:53:00
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This Is Intolerable!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8000447.stm


So the Yanks have racked up three points and a capture and now the cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys have captured another 11 to add to the bunch they offed the other week (mind - they did score an own goal and had the owner of the yacht die....). So, the question I want answered is when the bloody hell are we going to get on the score-board?


Think about it. This war against the pirates is tailor-made for us  Brits. The pirates have leaky speed-boats, hand-held GPS and are armed only with soft fruit (and the occasional AK47 and RPG). Whereas we have have mighty steel-clad ships, comabt drones, satellite imagery and helicopter gun-ships. - Oh - and guided missiles.   We can't lose. And if there's one thing we Brits all love is a good bloody war with someone we know we can beat hands-down. SO come on Gordan (you wall-eyed spastic porridge-wog) - cry Havoc and let loose the (sea) dogs of war!!


Before it gets really embarrassing and someone like the Italians score before we do.


Cheers

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[info]sigma7
2009-04-15 03:48 pm UTC (link)
Were I a pirate, the last thing in the world I'd want to do is provoke the SAS into coming after me. French, acceptable. Navy SEALs not so much. But the SAS are the worst-case scenario -- I'd avoid the Union Jack as if it were the plague, a grim-faced hot-lead-spewing plague.

(Reply to this)


[info]spiralstairs
2009-04-15 08:43 pm UTC (link)
How have the French got eleven?! O.o

Dear Mr. President, please don't be another Jimmy Carter. (President version. Humanitarian building houses and fighting for Palestinians version is okay.)

Seriously, England. Get the lead out. Do some kind of Masonic seance in Trafalgar Sqaure. See if "Treguna Mekoites Tracorum Satis…Dee ..." will raise Nelson and the English Armada of Olde. It worked against the Nazis!

And if the Italians get any, it'll be because a DUI Mayor Quimby Berlusconni's party ship will crash into them.

(Reply to this)

Arrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
[info]xx_conundrum_xx
2009-04-16 09:35 am UTC (link)
War? We've already got a right mess over in Afghanistan, plus the winding -down of the war in Iraq, so why get involved in another one?

Hmmm...but this would be against Somali 'pirates'. We don't get many of those around Newcastle, so maybe we could get stuck in without shouts of 'Arrrrrrr!!!' reverberating down Northumberland Street.

Here's fun......why don't we NOT call it a war, just a Police Action? Send a couple of spiffy gunboats (with absolutely HUGE yardarms) and have a splurge on stringing pirates up? Works for me.

And I think the metaphor you were searching for in your original post was 'Fresh Fruit' rather than 'soft fruit'.....or were all my years watching Python totally wasted?

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Re: Arrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
[info]legless123
2009-04-16 10:11 am UTC (link)
The soft fruit I was referring to was from the pygmies of Umbongo Gorge. Blackadder goes Fourh.


To defend yourself against "fresh fruit" you just need a pointed stick. Or a tiger.


Cheers

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]xx_conundrum_xx
2009-04-16 10:32 am UTC (link)
I feel a burst of nit-picking pendantics coming on:-)

It's the Mboto Gorge, not the Umbongo Gorge

As for the pygmies, it's the Dwatushi warriors who lurk in the Mboto Gorge, though General Haigh was attacked by a pygmy woman with a piece of sharpened mango, so I suppose the Dwatushi might be a bit on the small side.

And nowhere in the script does it mention 'soft fruit' --- it just refers to generic 'fruit'

So I win.

(Reply to this)

Piracy ur doin it wrong
[info]wascally_weasel
2009-04-16 02:22 pm UTC (link)
I think you're missing the point - British sailors have a fine old history of privateering. We should be getting in on the Piracy action from the side of badness.

Furthermore, I think the Queen should be issuing Letters of Marque to any British Seadog that wants them and then sit back and wait for the booty to roll in.

You had a boat once didn't you? You would make a wonderful Dread Pirate Legless...

(Reply to this)

we have got some
(Anonymous)
2009-05-11 12:03 am UTC (link)
We have captured several lots of pirates, there weren't any newsworthy shoot outs so the UK madia didn't put it on the front page.
Capturing them alive is a problem, what do you do with them> there's no protocol for dealing with them. We can't bring them to the UK for trial because they didn't do anything in UK waters plus, trhere's no international protocol for it. In the end Kenya took them for trial but they don't realy know what to do with them either.

ANdy Ross

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